a long time coming, this post. another year ended. another year begun. the turn of the calender year isn't always the marker of new beginnings its chalked up to be, but oddly this time round, it is. i feel a gentle but definite click of the kaleidescope and the image is rearranged. somethings have ended, neatly, satisfactorily. i made it to the other side of the m.a. despite my dithering, self doubt, lack of awareness, despite myself almost. pleasantly surprised, a little bit. relieved, yes very much so. ashamed, a little bit. hopeful, a lot.